- january: this year will be so much better new year new me
- february: ew
- march: ew
- april: ew
- may: ew
- june: nearly summer
- july: summer
- august: summer
- september: ew school
- october: spooky
- november: is it christmas yet
- december: christmas
Aries - Why isn’t everyone up yet? I wanna open my presents!! (It’s 2am)
Taurus - Oh yeahh big christmas dinner today!
Gemini - Ooh I wonder what cool presents I got!
Cancer - I get to spend the time with my family today!!
Leo - Everybody HAS to give me presents!
Virgo - No! Open the presents…
there’s a rumor going around my school that a girl in choir got suspended for fingering herself in class uh
ur school wins
The fact that there are bugs that look like leaves and eels with electricity and frogs that ooze out crazy psychedelic poison makes me soo mad like humans don’t have shit ooo my big brain whoopee where’s my fucking night vision or my wings to fly with what the shit evolution u blew it buddy